Valentine as a single

Enjoying Valentine’s Day While Single Valentine’s Day is a day of romance and pampering- a time when couples and love interests go all out to express their love.  This is all fine and sweet, what about those who are single? Can singles enjoy a day like Valentine’s Day as well- or is it a day that just feels like one big bitter rub in the face? Many couples actually enjoy Valentine’s Day on their own- it is all about attitude and how you choose to see things in your life. After all, Valentine’s Day is about love and who better to love first than yourself? If you are still single, it is okay to long for that special relationship, but there is no reason to feel down and unhappy in the meantime. You may not have a romantic relationship right now, but certainly should have a loving relationship with yourself. Use Valentine’s Day as a time to pamper yourself and treat yourself to something you truly want and know that you deserve. Give yourself the attention and love you hope someone will give you one day. It all starts with self love anyway and if you are able to love and treat yourself well first, you will also be able to do the same for someone else, and will also never settle for less than what you are used to giving yourself and know that you deserve. So forget about moping around this Valentine’s Day! Find something to do that you will enjoy and have fun doing. Some Ideas on what you can do are: Staying in and watching movies of your choice, while munching on some sweet treats Going out with friends and having a fun, singles night out dancing, dining, going to the movies, etc. Cook yourself a delicious dinner, light some candles to create a relaxing mood and cuddle up with a good book where your imagination can runaway with itself. Spread your love by sending out cards and/or baking cookies for loved ones in your life Make the most of this Valentine’s Day and enjoy being by yourself this time, because who knows- next Valentine’s Day you may no longer be alone and may have someone in your life to treat!

Marriage

Why Many Marriages Don’t Work The wedding day was like a dream come true. You and your new spouse officially started your life together and were very excited. The honeymoon was fun, sexy and filled with hope and promise for a bright, successful and romantic filled future. As time passed however, you find yourselves sitting on the couch hardly speaking, when you used to be able to talk for days. The sex exists, but is not as often or as hot.  You argue over things that are both little and big and find yourselves feeling bothered, annoyed and jealous over things you never felt upset about before.  Sound familiar? It should, because this is a pattern that is seen over and over again in marriages. With marriage having a reputation of being so wonderful and fulfilling, why is it that so many marriages fail to work? By definition, marriage is the uniting between two people in a consensual relationship that is recognized by the law- and for many, by God as well. So the definition of marriage is simple and obvious enough, but what it really means to you is the real question here. When couples transition from a dating relationship into a marriage, things seem to change for some reason. It seems that we believe we own each other in some way and have the paper work to prove it. You find yourselves not doing the things you used to do before you got married such as going out with your friends, having some alone time and enjoying certain hobbies, all because you are married and are supposed to do everything together. Before you know it, jealousy and frustration start surfacing when one or both of you want to have some space to do some things on your own or with other people. Another common thing to happen in marriages is the friendship taking over, where you both love each other very much, but have become more best friends than passionate lovers- all because you live together and hold the documents of marriage. So why does this all happen? Why is it that many marriages end up disappointing and not working out? Misinterpretation, illusions and incompatible views seem to be the answers. Misinterpretation:  Many seem to see marriage as a union in which both people have a hold on each other that strips away the other’s freedom.  The truth is marriage does not mean the two of you are no longer free. You are still two individual people who choose to share your lives together. While certain changes will be made to adapt to the union you have formed, you both should still be free to be yourselves and fulfill your individual life callings and goals. Illusions: A lot of us think of marrying the one we love and imagine a life filled with endless romance, passion and closeness that will automatically always be there. While the love and passion can always be there, it will not be automatic and this is an illusion we all have to forget about. A healthy marriage filled with love, passion and closeness is possible, but not without work. Falling in love in the beginning is always effortless, but the more time you spend together, the more effort it will take to make sure you keep the passion alive between you. This is not because people fall out of love over time, but because they spend every single day together, following certain routines, and if you do not make the time to break out of your routine to recapture the passion between you, you can drift apart. Incompatible Views: This one may seem obvious, but a lot of people with incompatible views get married with hope that once they are married, things will get better. Nobody is exactly the same and that is not required in order to have a good relationship and marriage. However, having similar views and sharing a fair amount of things in common will definitely help you and your partner build a marriage on more solid ground. When two people have opposite views and beliefs, they often conflicts, making it is very difficult and challenging to reach fair compromises, so make sure you and your partner share similar view in life, as well as love and marriage. As long as you keep these important points in minds and apply them in your life, you will be able to find a partner who truly suits you and can then go on to build the successful marriage you desire from there.

You are too busy doing what?

How Technology made us Rude and Lazy E-mails, text messages, voicemails- you name it, we’ve got it. Technology has created many creative and wonderful ways for us to keep in touch with each other, as well as make our lives easier at the same time. With our busy schedules, it is not always easy to keep in touch with friends and family the way we would always like to. The days of sitting down and having a nice, long phone conversation seems like a memory of the past and is a rare thing to happen on a frequent basis these days. Not to worry though, because with E-mails and text messaging available, we are sure to keep in touch with people properly, right? Wrong! One might assume that the more options we have with communication, the better we would be at it, but studies and observances have shown this not to be the case. It seems like the more options we get and the easier ways of communication become, the ruder and lazier we get. Everyone considers themselves important and expects others to see them the same way. If we do not get respectful and thoughtful acknowledgement from others, we feel hurt and upset and this is happening a lot these days. Text messages have replaced the “phone call” and even then people do not always keep up with text messages very well either. We have gotten used to receiving e-mails and text messages without getting back to people in a timely manner, if at all. It seems like as long we are being kept in touch with, everything is fine, but what we often forget is that our lack of manners to acknowledge these messages leaves the sender feeling unappreciated, unacknowledged, hurt, upset and even worried. In this world of heavy studying and long work hours, we all have a mutual understanding that there are not enough hours in the day, so no one is really expecting anyone to give them a long time of undivided attention.  That being said however, people do still expect to be appreciated and respected, especially by those they consider their friends.  With everyone just a click or push button away, would it really hurt to just quickly send an e-mail or text message back, letting someone know that their message has been received? It only takes a minute and will make everyone happy. Your friend will be happy and will not be left wondering and assuming the worst and you will feel better that you treated someone the way you want and expect to be treated. Oh yes- and don’t forget to give your friends a phone call if you actually have the time.  Many people have expressed their annoyance and frustration when their friends and family choose to text them rather than actually talk to them voice to voice. Text messaging is something you should only do if you only have little time to send a message out, but should not be replacement of real communication. So while we enjoy the pleasures of advancing technology and use it to our benefit (as we should), let us remember not to throw our manners and consideration out the window.

Top 5 Relationship Pet Peeves

Top Pet Peeves that annoy the other partner Let’s face it- NO relationship is perfect. No matter how much you love each other and no matter how many things you have in common and agree on, there is always going to be something that one person will do to bother or annoy the other. This has nothing to do with love, but more based on the fact that when two individuals merge their lives together, there are bound to be times when they will clash. You may feel like “one”, but you are still separate people with minds of your own and not everything about your partner will appeal to you, regardless how much you love each other. Here are the Top 5 most common Relationship Pet Peeves: Nagging - okay, we all feel the need to complain every once in a while, but when complaining becomes the main theme of your verbal expression, it becomes defined as nagging, and no one likes a nag. Nagging, to most, is annoying and frustrating and makes the person being nagged to like they can’t do anything right and they eventually grow tired of it and either leave the relationship or block out the nagging and stop caring. Lying - No one appreciates being lied to- especially when the lies are trivial, unnecessary and constant.  It is very frustrating for a person to have to deal with a lover who constantly lies about every little thing. Not only is ot annoying, but makes one wonder if there are bigger lies that they are not even aware about, creating major trust issues in the relationship. Drama Queen - We are all capable of having bratty moments and taking center stage, but there are some people who always need to be the center of attention and make a huge production out every little thing. This usually become very irritating over time and makes the other partner feel like he/she has to walk on eggshells, making the relationship very unfair. Indecisiveness- Not being able to ever make a decision and sticking to it is very frustrating.  A couple should be able to openly communicate and make decisions together. Both partners need to put their input on things and let the other know what they want, rather than never making a decision and leaving their partner to make all the decisions in a relationship. Promise Breaking- Nothing is more irritating and hurtful than a person who makes promises and breaks them over and over again. It shows lack of consideration for the other’s feelings and also means the person cannot be trusted or relied on. Do not make promises you feel you may not be able to keep, because besides being annoying, it also ruins character.

You Want To Be Lied To!

Why we subconsciously avoid the truth in relationships There are things we want to know about in our romantic relationships- and then there are things we don't want to know. We may think and believe that we want to know anything and everything about our partner, but the truth is- we are not ready and willing to accept the reality of lust, love and relationships- because if we were, we would not get so upset over so many things. Understanding the reality of love and relationships is the key that will help you achieve the true happiness that you claim you want to have in your life. So what is the reality when it comes to love and relationships? Freedom! Yes, that's right- love is free. Until you accept this reality, you will never be happy. As soon as a relationship involves one or two people trying to change each other and control certain things, it is no longer free and love without freedom cannot really be defined as true love. You have heard it all before and have probably even said it yourself that love should be unconditional. You may have even told someone that you love them unconditionally, or have been told that you are love unconditionally. Why then do we put so many conditions in our romantic love relationships? As a society, we are taught that love is pure, loyal, faithful, passionate and unconditional, yet most of us rarely apply those things in the long run of a relationship. We say love is all those things because that is what we want love to be like for us. These qualities in a love relationship make us feel safe, secure and special and everyone wants to feel this way. However, what we often to do not take the time realize and care about is the fact that we are always focus on how we can achieve all this unconditional love from someone, rather than how we can achieve at giving it. It is only natural though, which also means one thing: the person you truly love unconditionally in a romantic relationship is yourself ! As selfish as it may sound, it is true. When you are out looking for a perfect partner, you are looking for someone who will treat “you” right, who will love “you”, be faithful to “you”, feel most attracted to “you”, as well as someone who will accept “you” just the way “you” are. We are al looking out for ourselves, looking for a relationship we will feel be a healthy and worthy investment that will result in us getting what we want. In return, we will of course love our partners back (and genuinely), but not for free. Love is not something we just give out like charity. Our love is precious and must be earned. We have to feel convinced that someone is worth our time, and worth sharing our emotional and physical being with. We are constantly observing our partners behaviors and trying to calculate whether they are meeting up to “our expectations”- and if they are not, we try to find ways to alter our relationship until it feels like a perfect fit. Honestly, there is no perfect fit. You cannot custom make a relationship to fit your needs and desires only. This is because a relationship involves two people, two individuals. It may seem obvious and cliché to mention that it takes compromise in order to make a relationship work, but it is still very necessary to say. You must remind yourself over and over again that true love is about working together and accepting your partner who he/she really is- not accepting him/her as the person you custom designed (or wish you could custom design anyway). Again, this may sound like common sense, and it is, but most us are not applying that, for if we were, we would be enjoying true relationship bliss. So, how can you truly be happy and feel secure in a relationship? By accepting reality and choosing the truth over lies. You may claim you want the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth (so help you), but in a way, you want to be lied to. As crazy as it sounds, we all want to live some sort of illusion. We need that fluffy soft love cloud called” illusion” to land on so we can feel special and avoid pain, because let’s face it- certain truths do hurt and stab us in our emotional hearts. The good news is you don’t have to want to be lied to anymore! You can be strong and brave enough to take in the whole truth and reality of life and still be happy, satisfied and completely confident about yourself while in a relationship with someone. The following are some truths you would normally want to be lied to over or in denial about, but can now understand and accept: • Your partner will not change! Yes, people do evolve and do make certain changes (or adaptations) in time, but there are also certain personality traits that a person will always carry. If you really want to be with someone, you have to accept right from the start that they are who they are. Entering a relationship with the hope and goal to change your partner in some way will only end in disappointment for you, not to mention your partner will eventually resent you for trying to change him/her- and will probably rebel too- or leave eventually. • Being in Love does not Equal blind! When two people fall in love, all they want to do is be with each other all the time. However, it is important to understand that just because you and your partner may be in love, it does not mean one or both of you will not still find other people attractive. This is normal and natural, but does not mean that you are all of a sudden less attractive to your partner. Love and casual attraction are very different and you should not feel threatened by this (unless your partner crossed the line in any way). So just enjoy being in love and building a life with your love and do not obsess about who he or she may find attractive. This will only turn you into a jealous person ad will also influence your partner to walk on eggshells around you and even lie. • Your partner is still an Individual! Though you may be a “couple”, you are still two separate people. And while you both may share most things in common, there will still certain interests and hobbies your partner will have and want to enjoy on his/her own- and this is not something you should feel worried about or offended by. Doing things separately from time to time and fulfilling your individual goals is healthy and should be supported in a relationship. So do not expect to be attached at the hip all the time- let your partner practice and enjoy their individuality too! As you can see, these are very logical and seemingly easy tips to follow but without the occasional reminder, we can all find ourselves having relationship trouble over these little logical things. So just give yourself a reminder once in a while and remember to acknowledge the truth of your relationship, rather than lie to yourself about how you wish things could be or how you think they should be. Aritcle by Relationship Expert Alina. For advice on love or any other personal issue, please click here for instant advice.

Credit Crunch Love

Keeping Love Healthy with Money Problems Money may not everything, but it also isn’t just anything.  It helps us not only to survive, but also allows us to enjoy other luxuries and do many enjoyable things with the ones we love. Money also gives us the strength and confidence to chase after our dreams and assists us in making them come true. When money is short such as in the credit crunch and debt is involved however, it can affect your romantic relationship, no matter how much you and your partner may love each other.  This is because when you go from a life of comfort to a life of struggle and unwanted change, it creates stress for everyone involved and patience can be short.  When patience is short, it causes people to be easily annoyed with each other and they tend to snap at each other quickly due to all the worries on their mind. Can money problems and a credit crunch ruin a good romantic connection? It can- but it doesn’t have to! With all the financial trouble out there today, it is very likely you will find yourself in some money trouble sooner or later. Naturally, both you and your partner are going to feel concerned and stressed out about it, and that’s okay. The only important effort you both need to make is to do whatever it takes to avoid turning on each other and playing blame games, and instead work together in taking care of your financial situation.  As unpleasant as it may be, you both will have to make certain changes in order to keep your heads above water until your situation improves. This includes budgeting on things you never had to before and finding less expensive ways to enjoy life. Work together in finding romantic things to do together that cost less. It is essential that you keep your romance alive and healthy during rough times and not allow money obstacles to tear you and your love apart. Tackle your money problems together, but do not neglect your love life. Make dates to do something nice together that will not out a strain on any of your wallets.  For example, you can reserve a certain night for “movie night”, rent some movies and cuddle on the couch together with some sweet snacks. You could also cook up a romantic dinner at home, or go out for dinner and come home for dessert.  There are many things you can do- the point is to be attentive to your relationship and not get drowned in your money worries. There is time to work on finances and time to enjoy your relationship. Your passion for each other should not go on hold and there is no need to turn against each other, because this is something you both can tackle and conquer together- as a loving couple. Things to Remember: How you felt about each other when you first fell in love and focus on why you love each other in the first place Remember how supportive you both were of each other when things were going well. It is time to now supportive of each other through struggling times too. Remember that it takes two to keeps things good or to make them go sour. Team work is the key! Always be open to listen to one another, even if you do not always agree. Ignoring things, blaming each other or closing up to what the other has to say will not make your money problems go away and could actually make it worse in more ways than one. Tackle this together and come up with a plan you both like to help you both get back on track.

Are you in Denial?

Is He Really Worth the Wait, or are You in Denial? Dating is not always easy and finding an interesting person to even consider dating is often challenging enough as it is. So when we do find someone interesting enough, we often hold on to them, with the hope that the connection will grow into something special. The question you need to ask yourself however, is: How special is the connection between you and this “interesting” person? As women, when we meet someone we really like, we often become infatuated quickly and without intention, create this illusion that leads us to disappointment and injured emotions that we do not deserve. Have you met someone you feel drawn to romantically and want things to head to the next stage, but just cannot seem to get there? If so, welcome to a common situation many of us women find ourselves in. Is this new man in your life really worth your time and patience, or are you just in denial about how special the connection between you really is? It is important for you to be observant and pay attention to whether or not you are making excuses for him when he does not put in the effort you would like him to. Making excuses for someone is something very common that people do, especially women. When we like a man enough, we convince ourselves that he is worth our time by making excuses for his lazy and inconsiderate behavior. Deep down however, you already know whether he is truly crazy about you too, or not. Here are some signs of a man who truly does want you: He calls you and gets in touch with you (phone, e-mail, etc) as often as he can. Calls you when he says he will Pays attention to what you like (example: types of movies, flowers, food, music, so on) and then invests efforts in making sure he can provide you with it. So for example, if he knows Italian is your favorite food, he will try to find a nice Italian restaurant to take you to, because he wants to impress you and make you happy. He expresses his feelings to you and lets you know how much he likes you. He does not mind doing most of the chasing Now, here are some signs of a man who is not that interested in you: He takes his time to get in touch with you and does not seem very excited to talk to you again. Tells you he will call you, and then breaks that promise. Leaves you wondering about how he really feels about you. Not being emotionally expressive enough. Does not invest much effort in trying to impress you or set up nice dates. He seems relaxed and not concerned with chasing you all that much- leaving a lot of room for you to look for him. If you find yourself making excuses to any of the signs above that point to him not being very interested in you, you are not alone.  You obviously like this man a lot and like him enough at this time to feel he worth making excuses for, but…are you really happy? Sure, there are exceptions where we should give people the benefit of the doubt, but there is a difference between a mistake we can of course excuse and forgive and man who simply does not treat you well enough. Yes, we are living in modern times where women play strong roles in the career and work field and are not afraid to take charge and be aggressive, including in the romance department. If we see a man we want, most of us are not old fashioned enough to just wait around. We are ready to take charge and flirt, e-mail and call- if it means starting up a relationship with a man we want. While this is great and we should feel strong and confident enough about ourselves to do this, we also should not forget how men are programmed by nature. Do not rob a man of the fun he has in chasing after a woman he really longs for. As fun as it may be for you to be the aggressive one, the truth is, if you spend too much time being aggressive and getting in touch with him all the time, you are not giving him or yourself the chance to really find out how much he wants you. Do not be afraid to lie back sometimes and see just how much effort he feels you are worth.  If he really wants to get to know you and be with you romantically, then he will not miss his chance to call you, e-mail you, or make the time to take you out. So be honest with yourself and do not make excuses, no matter how much you like him. After all, you want to be with someone who wants you just as bad and shows it- not someone you have to run after and wonder about. One Important Note: Avoid the “Busy Excuse” Do not make the busy excuse for him. Yes, people get busy, but if you are not too busy to think about him, then he is not too busy to think about you either. If you really are on his mind, he will make the time, if only a moment, to let you know he was thinking about (whether through a phone call, text message or e-mail.). Sometimes a person can have a crazy day and this is okay, but if it happens too often, then it has nothing to do with him being busy- it has to do with him being lazy, and you are worth more than that!

Love Pollution

Ways you can improve the health of your Love environment. Just as we pollute our planet’s environment, we also pollute our relationships through our behavior and the methods we use to get what we want. No relationship is perfect. Every relationship needs maintenance, as well as a clean up from time to time, so that it can stay healthy and on the right track. Not only that, but a relationship also requires a couple to find new ways of cleaning it up- since a relationship changes and grows in time- with new experiences and issues. As much as we all want to keep our relationship happy at all times, it is just not a realistic desire. While you might have a lot in common with your partner, you two are still two individual human beings with your own personal goals, passions and desires that you wish to achieve in your lives. You and your partner may not always see eye to eye on everything and this causes conflicts. One or both of you may also get lazy in time, not investing as much effort as you used to when the relationship was young and fresh. Does this mean that your partner (or you) no longer cares? Probably not- but it does mean that you and your partner have settled in too deeply in the comfort zone of your relationship and need to get up and give your relationship a good work out, so that it can get back in shape. The following are common ways we pollute our relationships with negativity, as well as suggestions on how you can cleans things up and improve your relationship’s health. Polluter #1: Laziness  Laziness is never your friend. It holds you back and keeps you from accomplishing goals that will make you feel happy and fulfilled. Just as laziness hurts you in your academic and career field, it hurts you in your relationships as well. It is only natural that both you and your partner will become comfortable as your relationship matures. The more time you spend together, the less concerned you become with staying on your toes and impressing one another, because you trust that you both love each other. There is nothing wrong with being comfortable in a relationship. In fact, you should feel safe and comfortable with your partner. However, there is such thing as getting too comfortable in a relationship. If you hang out in the comfort zone most of the time, that means you are no longer trying to find ways to excite each other and bring new joys into the relationship. At one point, you two will drift apart and will become bored- leading one or both of you to perhaps look outside the relationship for excitement, and/or break up. What you can do: If your relationship is already suffering from the pollution of laziness, then it is time for both you and your partner to get up and get active! Do things to let your partner know that you are still crazy about him/her, as well as let him/her know things you would like for them to do for you, or with you. Find new places to visit together, new hobbies to get active in- whatever you both feel you will enjoy in each other’s company. It does not have to be anything big or extravagant, as long as you both work together in keeping the relationship active. Polluter #2: Arguments It is not really the arguing that is the polluter here, but more the way you argue that is. Arguing is normal and is important, because it plays a big role in bringing you and your partner closer together. Arguing is reasoning people give one another when they are for or against something. Through arguing, you and your lover learn the differences that exist between you and can use this information to understand each other better and therefore respect each other more, as well as behave more considerately towards one another. Arguments can help a relationship become even stronger and healthier…when you do it in a positive manner. Unfortunately, we often handle arguments in a negative manner, because to most of us arguments equal negative and this point of view causes us to behave negatively in an argument.  Before you know it, what is supposed to be a constructive and learning experience, ends up being a fight of him vs. her with the goal to win and be right, rather than working together in finding a compromise. What you can do: First of all, it is important that you keep reminding yourself that arguments are not a bad thing. Keep reminding yourself this until you truly understand it, so that the next time you get involved in an argument with your partner, you will not have your defenses up ready to enter a fight. Instead enter an argument with an open mind and heart, ready to problem solve- rather than enter a fighting contest. Do not be afraid or shy to talk to your partner about arguing. Remember, open and honest communication is key and if you and your lover talk about this when you two are happy and not arguing, you will be able to set your goals about this open and clear mindedly. It is essential that you both remember that when arguments do come to surface, the point is to attack the problem and not the person. Getting angry and feeling hurt during arguments is okay, as long as you express your anger and hurt productively and not in a way to just hurt your part back. Polluter #3: Denial Denial is a huge relationship polluter. Many of us want to desperately believe that everything is fine or will work itself out in our relationship, causing us to blind ourselves from many truths.  Every relationship will have problems and obstacles that are both painful and anger inducing, so while you can denial problems all you want- you are actually only making things worse for your relationship. Ignoring problems does not make them go away, but in fact makes them grow and grow until your relationship is hanging by its last thread. There are times when two people will grow apart and break up because of that, but often times; a relationship does not have to fall apart due to problems. Most relationship troubles can be worked out, but that requires the acceptance of these troubles from both partners involved. What you can do: Be realistic and accept the fact that you and your partner can love each others and have problems at the same time. Understanding that having conflicts between you and your partner does mean you do not love each other anymore will help you avoid entering the denial zone. When a problem comes along, talk to your partner about it and do not avoid conversation when your partner approaches you about something. Brushing issues off will actually tear you two apart, because issues cannot work themselves out. If you really want to be with your partner, then you need to be a team member in your relationship at all times- the good and the bad. If do not want to lose your relationship and you want to make it last, then do not pretend everything is perfect. Love your relationship unconditionally by accepting it’s imperfections and teaming up with your lover in making improvements where they are needed (whether it is in the communication, trust, passion or commitment department) so your relationship can strengthen from both it’s positive and negative sides, rather than weaken due to denial on your or your partner’s part.

They're Just Friends, But...Is His Female Friend a Threat to You?

It is not unusual for men and women to have friends of the opposite sex. However, how friendly is too friendly? Is your partner's female friend a threat to your relationship? Before you determine whether this is all really a threat to you, you must make sure of one thing first: That you are not just being jealous. Jealousy can cloud your judgment and create thoughts in your mind that are not true about your partner and his female friend. Observe your partner's relationship with his female friend before you reach any conclusions. While observing, find answers to the following questions: How much time does he spend with her? How often do they call each other and how important does he consider her phone calls to be? Are they flirtatious with each other? Does your instinct tell you that she wants him as more than a friend? Having answers to these questions will help you determine whether your partner's friendship with this female is a problem or not. If they spend a lot of time together one on one and talk to each other on the phone frequently, then this could be a problem. If you notice they are flirtatious with each other, then this friendship has crossed the line. Everyone does casual flirting here and there, but if the flirting is strong and your instincts tell you that she wants your man romantically, then this is a problem for your relationship. Keep in mind, nevertheless, that this female friend can only be a threat if your partner makes her important enough to be a threat. He may not be aware of her full intentions (if she is indeed interested in him romantically), but he also is not so clueless that he cannot know flirting when he sees it. If she is a friend, then he clearly knows her pretty well. He also knows what he is doing when he chooses to spend a certain amount of time with her and makes her phone calls a high priority. So in other words, if you feel insecure or threatened by her, it is because your partner has behaved irresponsibly and has not taken your feelings into full consideration. If your partner's friendship with a certain female (or females in general) bothers you, have a talk with him and let him know how you feel, keeping in mind that you should be fair in your requests. Your partner has rights to be friends with whomever he wishes, just as you have the right to choose your friends. With that being said, your partner owes you a considerable amount of respect and should care if things bother you. Once you tell your partner that a certain friendship bothers you for whatever reason, he should invest the necessary efforts to make you feel more at ease about the situation. If your partner brushes it off and does not do much to find a fair solution to this, then it is time to take a closer look at your relationship and find out just how important you are to your partner. After all, friends are important- but they should not cause problems in your romantic relationship with your partner. He does not have to stop being friends with anyone, but if it bothers you, then he should be willing to turns things down a notch. Is it ever okay to ask your partner to stop being friends with a certain female? Well, the only time you should really ask your partner to stop being friends with someone is if you see this female friend throwing herself on him all the time, with romantic interest. It is obvious she is not really interested in just being his friend and therefore their friendship is not appropriate. Your partner should sense this on his own and take care of it, but you can bring it up and suggest it yourself if you want to. Be sure to approach him in a clam and gentle manner. If he gets angry and defensive at your suggestion, do not fight with him. His reaction and behavior tells you what you need to know. If he is that unwilling to really listen to you and consider what you have to say, then perhaps it would be a good idea to take a break, so that he can think about what and who is more important to him.

Making Healthy Investments into Your Relationship

Like everything else you wish to succeed in, relationships require effort and investments. How is the health status of your relationship account? When you start an account, you always start off with such enthusiasm and with goals to grow this account into a healthy, strong one that will give you a happy future. The thing is, most people open their relationship account with eagerness like this, only to get lazy and procrastinate over time, leading the relationship onto an unhealthy path. Laziness will always set you up for failure, including your relationship. As a relationship matures and get older, the lazier a couple tends to get. You get so comfortable with each other, that you no longer bother to invest the time and efforts you did at the beginning. People often believe that if they are comfortable in their relationship, then everything is okay and/or will work itself out. Being comfortable, however, does not always mean your relationship is healthy. Being comfortable could simply mean that you and your partner are used to being together, as well as used to the way the relationship is- even if a relationship is lacking important things that could make it better. This happens so gradually sometimes, that a couple often does not know where things went wrong- and all they know is that their relationship went downhill and things do not feel the same anymore. The excitement is gone, the passion has faded and the communication has gone from strong to weak, making it difficult for a couple to work together once they do realize that their relationship is in trouble. The following are some things you and your partner need to constantly invest to your relationship account if you want to maintain a healthy and loving relationship: Honesty. You have probably heard the famous saying- �honesty is the best policy�. Well, it really is! While the truth may not always be pleasant, it is always better to let your partner know what you are thinking and how you are feeling, rather than keeping it all inside of you and expecting your partner to read your mind. You also need to open and accepting of the truth your partner shares with you about yourself and the relationship over all. If you are not willing to hear the truth (and the truth can be painful sometimes), then you are not willing to fully experience the relationship as a whole- but instead choose to blind yourself from certain things because it makes life easier for you (or at least it will look that way to you). So invest honesty into your relationship every day throughout the whole year- being always honest with your partner and yourself. Respect. You and your partner can have extremely strong feelings for each other and may claim to love each other dearly and more than anything. Without respect however, that love will get lost in the big shadow of disrespect that will take over your relationship. Respect may seems like something that is only natural for you and your partner to have for each other and that if you love each other, then it will be very difficult to disrespect each other. This may be true in the beginning when things are new between you, but in time things change and requires maintenance. As a relationship matures and you and your partner spend more time together, you will experience different things and will learn new things about each other. Though the love you have for each other may be something you have in common, you two are still individual human beings with different habits, views, routines, interests and so on. You may not always like or agree with the way your partner handles things, believes things and says things- but you will have to accept and respect that this is who he/she is. If you cannot respect your partner and your partner does not respect you, then your relationship will not last- and if it does, it will grow into an unhappy relationship that will invite many other stressful and painful issues. Invest respect daily into your relationship and do not allow yourself to cross that line and enter the territory of disrespect. If you so, you and your partner will not see each other the same way. Expressions of Love. You may see this one as a given, but it is not. People tend to get a little too comfortable as time goes by in a relationship and become less concerned with expressing their love and admiration for their partner. This, majority of the time, is not intentional, but it does happen regardless of being intentional or not. People do this because they become too confident. They know they love their partner and that their partner loves them and use that as their security. While knowing that you love each other is great and powerful, it will not be enough to make your relationship last in a happy way. People need to know that they are loved and cherished and that they are not being taken for granted. Laziness is a person�s worst enemy and it will cost you your relationship if you do not take the time to let your partner know that he/she is special and the love of your life. Tell your partner how much he/she means to you, write something thoughtful in card and give it to him/her, set a date to take him/her out someplace you know you two will truly enjoy and feel like a successful romantic couple. It does not require anything fancy to express your love to your partner and keep him/her satisfied, but the rewards for doing so will be wonderful and extremely beneficial to your relationship. Also remember, if your partner is not investing his/her share of efforts in showing you how much you mean to him/her, then you need to observe your relationship closely and give it a check up to see how healthy or unhealthy it really is. Talk to your partner about how you feel and give him/her time to make positive changes and improvements that will please you. If they lack to do so even after your honest communication, then you will need to ask yourself if you think you are with the right person. After all, you deserve to be with someone who will truly care about how you feel and will never want to disappoint or hurt you if they know they hold the power to make things different. Freedom. Give your partner freedom? Yes! Not the kind of freedom where you both are allowed to just go off and behave recklessly to towards the relationship, but freedom in a way that lets both you and your partner continue to be individuals. As a couple in a relationship you will be one, but outside that circle, you two will still be individuals who will need and want to continue to discover more about yourselves as people. You both will grow in time and you will get different callings in life, but in order for you to hear these callings and act on them, you and your partner need to give each other the freedom to do so. Do not cling to each other so tight that you cannot separate and be individuals and do not control your partner or allow your partner to control you. Controlling or being controlled is not love or an expression of how much your partner loves you. Control is selfish and is robbing a person from having a relationship with them selves. Invest freedom in your relationship and you and your partner will grow even closer together! You will have more to share with each other too. Invest all of these into your relationship account and watch the interest grow. You and your partner will be happy and will earn the feeling of taking pride in your successful relationship.

Flirting tips to help you Succeed in the Dating World

Every woman has a sexy flirt inside of her capable of getting a man�s attention. However, not all women carry the self confidence or know-how on bringing this flirtatious side out. Flirting plays a big part in the dating world. In fact, you cannot score a date with any man unless you give them the green light- a sign that expresses that we are interested in them. After all, women are not the only ones struggling with doubts and insecurities about themselves. Men also feel insecure and unsure on how to put themselves out there. They are afraid of reading a woman wrong, fear getting rejected and are also intimidated by women they find very attractive. So, if you see a man you think is attractive and you want to get the communication started, you have to help the boy out a little! By helping him out, you will help yourself out too- because you like him and want to talk to him, so let the flirting begin� Flirting does not have to be very aggressive. It depends on your personality. If you naturally a shyer person, then you will want to be quieter with your flirting, but still send out a strong message. If you are not all that shy and you have a more aggressive personality, then you can be more obvious and vocal with your flirting. Here are some flirting tips you can use the next time you see a guy you want to acquaint and get to know better. Shy Girls: 1. Make eye contact with a smile. If you come across a man that catches your eye, look at him in the eyes and give him a gentle smile. The smile is an invitation, letting him know that you are open to be friendly with him. 2. If he smiles back, Turn Around! Once you make contact and smile at him, the ball is in his court. He smiles back, keep walking. After a few second, slowly turn around and smile at him again. He most likely will be checking you out if he finds you attractive, so he will see this and will smile back at you again. If he has the courage, he will come up to you and start talking- and you can take it from there. 3. Swirl your feet If you are sitting down when you see a man you like, then give him a friendly smile and swirl one of your feet around slowly if you are wearing a skirt. The smile and eye contact will let him know you are into him, but swirling your foot will draw his attention to your legs and he will be even more curious about you. Remember, men are visual creatures, so make sure he sees your physical qualities. If you are sitting but are not wearing a skirt, then you can do something else to draw his attention to your physical sexiness! For example, you could tilt your head slightly upwards and rub your neck a little, as if you do not know he is looking, but in fact he will be watching you rub your sexy neck! Not so Shy Girls: 1. Stare and Speak! When you see a man you like, the eye contact rule still applies, since eye contact is the most powerful tool when trying to connect with someone. However, if you are not that shy and do not mind taking a bolder step, you can also speak to him as he walks by, or as you walk by him. You can flirtingly say hello in a soft voice and smile as he says hello back, gently looking him up and down. This will make it obvious to him that you are interested, without being too aggressive and over doing it- but definitely flirty enough! 2. Start Conversation If you are willing to make the first move and make your intentions even more obvious, without actually throwing yourself at him, you can start a conversation with him. Come up with an excuse to talk, such as asking for directions, an opinion on something- or even to borrow his pen- whatever it takes to get the two of you talking. If he is interested in you as well, you will not have to work too hard, because he will be friendly and flirty right back at you! You two can talk and then take it from there. 3. Give or Ask for Digits! Face it- if you just ran into this guy by chance- then there I a high chance you may not see him again- unless one of you take a bold move. If you do not have a problem making bold moves, you can ask him for his phone number (if he does not beat you to it first), or you could write down your number and hand it to him with a smile. If there really is chemistry between you, then he will want to be in touch with you again- as soon as possible! Remember: Regardless of whether you are shy or more aggressive, one of the most important and most attractive thing a woman can do is Smile! It gives a friendly vibe and shows him that you are a happy, non-threatening flirting woman. Plus, smiling brightens your face and gives him a chance to see your real beauty!

Once a liar always a liar?

Will a Liar Ever Change? Being lied to by someone you love and felt you could trust is very painful and frustrating. You love your partner, so you find yourself forgiving his/her lies the first time, perhaps the second and third time as well, before you realize you are just involved with a liar. However, because you feel strongly for this person, it is not easy for you to break away, even though you know that is probably what is best for you. You hang on, with hope that things will change and he will not lie to you anymore. You justify staying with him by telling yourself that he is a good person and deep down you know he loves you- and that your relationship is wonderful and perfect- except when he lies. What you need to ask yourself when this happens is: Do you consider a wonderful relationship one in which your partner lies to you? Is being lied to by a liar your idea of love and respect? When you are emotionally involved with someone, it is not always easy to ask and answer these logical questions. You often will make excuses for a liar, just to make yourself feel better about staying with someone who does not truly respect you. When your partner lies to you, it is because he does not respect you and is not as committed to the relationship as you would like to believe. Of course, there are different kinds of lies- little ones and big ones, but a lie is still a lie, no matter the size or reason for the lie. Look at it like this: if your partner can lie so easily over little things that are unnecessary to lie about, then you can be pretty sure that he/she will lie to you about bigger things that will really matter and damage the relationship. What you need to ask yourself when this happens is: Do you consider a wonderful relationship one in which your partner lies to you? Is being lied to by a liar your idea of love and respect? When you are emotionally involved with someone, it is not always easy to ask and answer these logical questions. You often will make excuses for a liar, just to make yourself feel better about staying with someone who does not truly respect you. When your partner lies to you, it is because he does not respect you and is not as committed to the relationship as you would like to believe. Of course, there are different kinds of lies- little ones and big ones, but a lie is still a lie, no matter the size or reason for the lie. Look at it like this: if your partner can lie so easily over little things that are unnecessary to lie about, then you can be pretty sure that he/she will lie to you about bigger things that will really matter and damage the relationship.

The Role of a Mistress: Is it as Glamorous as it Seems?

Mistress: A mysterious sexy woman that a married man sees in secret to have a romantic and sexual relationship with. This is the definition of a mistress. There is good sex, hotel room adventures, late nights, seductive phone calls, exciting secret dates, gifts and the thrill of doing something bad. But is being a mistress as glamorous as it seems? Yes, BUT only at first. Being a mistress has its exciting moments and these are the moments that convince women to become a mistress in the first place. In the beginning, the mistress holds all the power. She is the one who has the married man under a love spell and she gets all his attention and time that he should be spending with his wife. She is the one he fantasizes about when he is with his wife and the one he misses. He urges for her company and longs to hear her voice. The mistress is the woman a married man makes first priority and will shower her with gifts to keep her happy. This all sounds fun and good, but it is very short lived and eventually, the light goes on and shines on the truth of what the life of a mistress really is and eventually becomes after the sexy stage is over. Relationships that start off in deception usually end in deception. When a woman gets involved with a married man, she turns a blind eye to the fact that he is a cheater and an unreliable partner. She sees only what she wants to see and believes only what she wants to believe. She acknowledges the fact that he is cheating on his wife with her, but refuses to see that she too is a victim of his selfish behavior- choosing to make herself his victim. Men rarely leave their wives and family for their mistresses, which means that they string their mistresses along, having them believe that one day they will both be together with no more hiding around. Mistresses hang on to this fantasy, believing that their married lover truly loves them and will eventually be with them and this begins a long journey of emotional pain, emptiness and endless waiting. There are of course cases when a married man will actually leave his wife to be with his mistress, this has been known to happen, but it is rare. Plus, if it does happen, the relationship usually does not last, even if man and mistress go as far as getting married. This is because when the relationship started, it was not planted on solid, honest ground. Instead, the seed of the relationship was planted on unstable ground, fertilized with secrets and lies- regardless of whom the secrets were being kept from and whom the lies were being told to. Secrets and lies disallow people from being their true selves- a part of you has to be put on hold due to the man-mistress circumstance. If the man and his mistress do end up together and get married, they eventually have troubles with trust, because of the way they got together. They both know that they are capable of cheating and going along with cheating and while they may actually love each other- all the facts defining their relationship has the greater influence, whether they want to acknowledge it or not. Most man-mistress relationships do not get that far though and majority of the times, he will not leave his marriage for his mistress. He may believe at one point that he will, but his feeling of responsibility and need to be loyal to his wife and family take over and he therefore does not leave. Most men have affairs because of communication problems in their marriage or an empty gap that has grown in their marriage and they are unsure on how to approach. They long for good happy company again without complications, and an affair is a good escape for them- but it does not last forever.

TEMPTATION: Why we feel tempted to cheat and how you can make your relationship stronger

There is nothing about temptation and we have dealing with all kinds of temptation since the very beginning. It is human nature to be curious about how much we can actually get in life and even though we may our health, success and true love, there is always that little question mark inside of us that makes us ask ourselves: What else is out there for me? How about cheating though? Why do people feel tempted to cheat and why be in a relationship only to have a wandering eye? The truth is, nobody means to feel tempted- most of us want to be good, committed and loyal, because that is what we also want from others. We enter relationships, because we crave romance that is special and different from all the other connections we make with people in our everyday lives. We also enter relationships because we do not want to be alone and therefore search for the one person who we feel we are most compatible with, so that we can grow old together through thick and thin. Usually, when a person feels tempted to cheat, it rarely has to do just sex or the way another person looks. Sure, we all still acknowledge other people's good looks even when in a serious relationship, but that is not enough to lure us into actual cheating. The following is the top three reasons people feel tempted to cheat in a relationship: Being Stuck in a Pattern. Relationships often get stuck in a pattern, taking away all the mystery and excitement. Many assume that all relationship eventually loses all excitement, but this does not have to be true. Keeping each other interested and making sure your relationship is a never ending journey of discoveries will keep you and your partner close and always interested in each other. So be sure not to get stuck in a pattern and do not get lazy with your relationship. Remember to keep dating each other and trying new things that will have both learning new things about each other. Lack of Communication. As a relationships get older and more mature, people tend to become too comfortable and confident that everything is okay and often begin to stop communicating like the used to. Many also assume that their partner should know everything about them by now and therefore they should not have to tell them anything. When the communication is lacking in a relationship, one or both partners start to feel alone and disconnected emotionally and begin to crave that close connection again. This is when a person can start noticing other people and becomes tempted to find someone outside the relationship who will give them attention and comfort they feel is lacking in the relationship. Make sure you always keep the communication between you and your partner open and that it is done on a daily basis, even if it is only something very simply and small being said. Having too much Friendship. Being good friends is essential for a relationship and it important to have a strong friendship along with the strong romance. However, as a relationship matures, people tend to focus more on their friendship and close connection and begin to neglect the romantic side of their relationship, causing the relationship to lose it's spark and passion. This can cause one or both partner to feel tempted to cheat, because eventually, he or she will crave that romantic and sexual closeness and if he or she feels it is no longer possible or exciting with you, then cheating can occur to satisfy that desire and need for romantic/sexual connection. There is never a 100% guarantee that your partner will ever cheat on you and you will have to trust each other and listen to your instincts as well, but you should also invest your best efforts in making sure that your relationship is as healthy as possible. So keep your communication open and honest, add variety to keep things exciting and keep a healthy balance of both close friendship and hot romance.

Is Your Partner the Marrying Type?

Sure, you and your partner love each other, you connect well and have a rather healthy relationship�but is your partner the one you should marry? Being a great boyfriend or girlfriend is different than being great spouse material. Many people assume that just because they get along great with their partners as boyfriend and girlfriend, that they will automatically end up married, living happily ever after. The sooner you find this out, the better, because it will really prevent a lot of confusion and heart ache later. However, even if you have been with your partner for many years, it does not mean you should stay in the relationship simply because you have been together for a long time. The first thing you need to do is understand what your goals are with your relationship. This way you will be fully aware of your expectations and standards and can then focus on your partner and see whether you two are on the boat or not. So, how can you tell whether your partner is the marriage �type�? Well, the signs are very clear to read, if you are just willing to see the truth and nothing but the truth, even if it is not always what you want. The first step in seeing this truth, is throwing your blinders away and to observe all angles of your relationship- not just the wonderful parts that you want to see. If you are the type of person who would like to settle down and get married when the time is right, then you are naturally going to want a partner who will have the same dreams and goals as you when it comes to love and relationships. While this is only natural, you should not assume that just because you are involved with your partner in a serious relationship that it will end in marriage. This is exactly why you must talk about this with your partner once your relationship reaches a comfortable enough point to talk about marriage and commitment. Of course, there are some relationships where it is difficult to read your partner, due mixed signals. If you feel that your partner loves you, but are not really sure whether he or she will ever actually get married to you, then the following signs are what you should look out for: Your partner tries to change the subject or brushes you off whenever you bring up marriage. He or she tells you that marriage is not something that he/she is too crazy about. Tells you that he/she wants to marry you, but keeps making excuses on why you cannot marry now and keeps you waiting for a long time (years).

Finding a Fulfilling Happy Relationship

Finding a Fulfilling Happy Relationship

Finding someone to be in a relationship is actually quite easy. Finding someone to be in a relationship that actually fulfills you, however, is a different story. So how do you find a relationship that truly fulfills your needs and desires? Setting your priorities straight and having realistic expectations will help guide you into the right direction in finding the relationship you have always wanted. Before you can do that though, you need to make sure that you feel fulfilled on your own first. So many people end up in relationships that do not fulfill them because they are entering the relationship with the wrong expectations and for the wrong reasons. A big example of this is someone entering a relationship as a way to feel complete. Many people feel unsatisfied with themselves and their lives, and believe that someone else will be able to fill in that gap for them. Placing the responsibility for your happiness on someone else is unrealistic and will only result in disappointments in the relationship. You also need to acknowledge and accept the fact that there is no such thing as the perfect relationship and that there will be issues that will require teamwork and compromise. Most people have the idea that if a relationship is truly happy and meant to be, then there never will be any problems and should not require so much work- it should just be happy. Well, if this is how you view relationships, then it is time to change your way of thinking before you set yourself up for more painful reality checks. If you are interested in finding a person to build a strong romantic relationship with, the best thing to do would be to start by focusing on yourself first- and make sure that you are have your life sorted out, before deciding to share it with someone else. Majority of people would read this say of course, it's common sense and while this may true, people still enter relationship with unrealistic expectation, wrong reasons or before making sure they are fulfilled on their own first. So if you feel you are ready to be in a serious, committed relationship, do your self a favor and take it one step at a time. Review the relationship you have with yourself first and make sure that you are truly happy with you are and where you stand currently in your life. Ask yourself why you feel the need to be in a relationship, what you are prepared to invest into it, as well as what you are expecting from your partner. Sorting this out will help you understand your relationship goals and will help you understand what it is you need to look for in a person when trying to find a romantic partner to share your life with.

How to read the signs of a lying partner

Are you being lied to? First thing's first . . .listen to your instincts! Knowing whether you are being lied to or not, does not require mind reading or psychic power. Understanding the difference between the truth and a lie can all be determined by a person's behavior, and if you pay attention to these behaviors, you will be able to have a better idea of whether you are being lied to or not. The most important thing you should always remember to do however is to trust your instincts. If you feel you are not getting the entire truth from your partner for some reason, then listen to your instincts. Most people are in good touch with their instincts, but rather not listen to that inner voice because they refuse to believe that their partner would deceive them in any way. Staying in touch with your instincts will help guide you in the right direction. Though instincts are a great help, they can be tricky. Majority of the times, your instincts will not lie to you, but there are times when your instincts can be influenced by your fears and insecurities. For example, you may already have fears of being cheated on, therefore you may feel that your partner is lying to you and cheating on you, when in fact he or she may be telling you the truth and completely faithful to you. This is why it is essential to understand the behavior of a liar, so that you can define the difference between really catching on to a liar, or just being paranoid that your partner is lying to. Watch the Body Language One important thing to remember is that the body never lies. If there are changes in the way your partner moves (or does not movie) his/her arms, hands, head and the way his/her eyes shift, then you are most likely being lied to. The reason the body language changes when a person is lying is because the person now has to think of a way to seem convincing that he/she is telling the truth. Since he/she knows that whatever they are telling you is a lie, the behavior automatically changes because they are now trying to act truthful, instead of actually being truthful. One big sign to look out for is in the eyes. If your partner avoids eye contact with you, then he/she is lying to you. There is a fear that you will see through him or her if there is eye contact, so eye contact will be avoided. Whether you realize it or not, your body also communicates when you talk. When you are enthusiastic about telling your partner something and are telling the truth, you will move your hands around and will look into his/her eyes to make a connection. If your partner is lying however, he or she will tense up, will most likely tone down on the hand movement and eye connection and will seem different than other times. If your partner is the type to still move his/her hands around even when he/she is lying, then pay attention to the timing of the movements. Timing is everything and can define the difference between the truth and a lie. When a person is telling the truth for example, his/her hands (and whatever body movement he/she does) will move at the same time when telling you something. When he/she is lying however, the body language will be off and will usually come shortly after he/she has told you the lie. This is because they have to think about acting natural, and this thinking causes them to be off key. Last but not Least: Clearing of the throat, touching him or herself often and saying “Umm” Another sign of a lying partner is if he/she touch his/her nose or face a lot while talking to you. They will feel nervous about telling you lies and will want to occupy their hands somehow as a way to cover up their lie, such as touching the nose, rubbing their eyes and so on. Your partner may even clear his or her throat more than usual when talking to you, look away a lot and/or say "umm" a lot when lying to you. They are using these as time killers so they can think of how to tell you the lie in the most convincing way possible. These are just some of the signs of a lying partner and are the most common signs. Remember, it is always important to trust your instincts first. If you feel that your partner is lying to you, start paying closer attention to his/her behavior and if there are any changes, then you will be able to catch on to the lies better and can further investigate from that point. Receive Love Advice and Professional Help.

Goal Setting your Relationship

Goal Setting your Relationship

When you think about it relationships are all about goal setting. Once you have past that first stage of dating and falling in love you both start focusing on the goals you each have for the relationship, such as where you want it to lead and what your relationships beliefs are. One of the main reasons many couples break up is because they never shared their relationship goals with each other. Most people just let the relationship do it's own work and flow naturally, and while that is okay in some cases, it is overall important to keep in touch with what each of you is planning for the relationship. Besides the fact that you were attracted to each other and shared common interests and fell in love, what really are your goals for the relationship? Though you can never predict what will really happen in the future of the relationship, you do already have an idea of what you wish to give and receive from this romantic partnership. It is important that you fully understand what your goals are first before having this talk with your partner. Are you looking for a serious partner or just someone you can spend time with so you are not lonely? Would you like the relationship to eventually lead to marriage or is marriage not the most important goal for you at this time? When you figure out exactly what your goals are in the relationship you will then need to learn why those goals are so important for you right now. For example, if marriage is a goal for you- why is getting married so important to you at this pint in your life? You need to understand your reasons for your goals and make sure you are setting those goals for the right reasons. Once you have figured out your goals you should then share them with your partner and then listen to what his or her goals are as well so that you both can see exactly where you both stand individually and as a couple. If there are differences in the goals you both have, you then need find a compromise you both feel is fair to the relationship. Not having the same exact relationship goals does not mean that you are meant to be together, but it does mean that more communication is necessary so you can always keep track of where your relationship is leading and if it is lacking anything that it needs. Plan ways on how you can both accomplish each of your relationship goals and talk about which methods you both feel will work best. Goals can change over time too, which is exactly why you and your partner should touch base on each of your thoughts so you never reach a point where the relationship feels lost and confusing for one or both of you. Though it is important to understand your partner's goals, it is more important to keep in touch what you really want and need from the relationship. Losing your direction can cause you to stay in a relationship even if it no longer fulfills your needs and desires. Partner's can change and there is nothing you can do to change him or her unless they choose to, so the power you do have in holding on to the dreams you have for yourself and never lower your expectations in a relationship just because you want to stay with your partner. Neither of you should have to lower your expectation for the other; you should always work together in keeping the relationship on track. With direct communication and good goal setting, your relationship can continuously lead to stronger and more fulfilling stages that please you both.

Taking a break help your Relationship

There are times when a relationship reaches a point where one or both partners feel the need for some space and want a break from each other, believing that a break will do the relationship good. Can taking time apart from each other help your relationship or is taking a break simply a way to avoid certain issues that will still be there waiting for you when you get back together? First Tip: Do not use Breaks as a quick fix. Every relationship varies and it is important that every couple understands that taking time apart is not a substitute for fixing or solving problems, because if you part when you are having problems, they will be waiting for you when you meet again- so it is essential that you talk about your issues first before you decide a break is needed and best for the relationship. Many get scared and paranoid when their partner asks for some time alone because they fear that their partner may not love them anymore or will not come back. Though it is always possible for your partner to change their mind during the break and decide not to continue with the relationship, there is no need to fear taking the break, because the two of you would eventually have broken up anyway, if your partner was already thinking of doing so before- so it is inevitable. A Break can help you re-discover your Individual self. Many times, one or both people in a relationship will lose themselves in some way or form and will begin to feel stress and resentment in the relationship, even though it may not be about their partner personally. In every relationship, couples will compromise their differences to keep things healthy and happy and in making these compromising and changes, you both have to let go of a part of yourselves in order to compromise your differences. Sometimes this happens so often, that one or both of you will feel like you have completely lost yourselves and will feel stressed and resentment towards each other, even though it has nothing to do with any of you in particular. Relationships can get so deep- and you both can connect as ' one ' so intensely that you neglect yourselves as individuals, and in order to re-discover yourselves, there will need to be some time apart from each other. Remember, you need to be whole as an individual first in order to be whole together as a couple, and time apart is best if one or both of you feel like you need to get back in touch with your individuality. Slow down the Pace to learn more about each other. Some couples get so excited when they enter a relationship, that everything moves so fast, which can get stressful, pressuring and scary, in which a break is then a good idea as well. Taking time apart can help a relationship build a better bond because you will both replenish yourselves during the break and will then be able to give the relationship the efforts and attention needed to keep it healthy. If you are afraid that you will lose the relationship if you take a break, just remember that you would have broken up later anyway- not because of the break, but because you grew apart, had irreparable issues or maybe your partner (or you) just wanted to move on. So do not fear what is not in your control. Just stay calm and see what good a break can do for both of you and your relationship. Besides, you both owe it to yourselves to get back in touch with your individualities and learn more new things about yourself, so that you will be able to teach your partner more about you- and the more you know about each other, the more you will understand your differences and will be able to build the connection that works best for the both of you.

Communication that really improves Relationships

Communication is something we all know is necessary to keep any relationship strong and loving, and although we are aware of the importance of communication, we still seem to be clueless about what exactly good communication really is. This does not mean you are clueless as a person, but it does mean that more attention is required on your part, so that you can become more open and invite the many forms of communication that exist, so that you will be able to understand yourself and your partner much better. There is nothing that keeps a relationship healthy, better than understanding and once you start becoming more familiar with your communicating styles, as well as your partners, you will be able to work better as a team in making the best of your relationship. The first step in achieving better communication that will really work, is to take a look at you first. People always tend to turn to their partner first when things are not running so smoothly in their relationship. They automatically start pointing out what their partner is doing or not doing, as well as how their partner is not listening to them. This may all be true depending on your particular situation, but it is important that you take the responsibility in reviewing your own actions and communication first, before you can point anything out in your partner. Remember, it is very easy to see other people's mistakes, but when it comes to looking at you, it is much harder to accept criticism, even from yourself- because no one wants to be wrong. This is where you need to get real about things. Communication is not about who is right or wrong, but instead about helping each other see things from each other's perspective, so that you can be on the page and avoid any misunderstanding that will cause unneeded arguments.

Dating Tips

Okay, so you date people hoping that one of these days you will come across the right person, the one you will make the greatest romantic connection with. But does it feel like you are going nowhere and believe that you just have no luck with meeting the right people? Feel like you are lost and doomed in this whole dating business? Stop feeling sorry for yourself! Advice on Dating by the Experts at Love-Sessions The reality of this situation is that luck has nothing to do with it. If you are like many people, you are probably dating blindfolded, without even realizing that you are doing so. If you feel unsuccessful and dissatisfied with your dating patterns, then it is time for you to take a few steps back to see where things went wrong for you. Think you have been doing everything right? Think again! If you look back, you will be surprised to learn that you got so caught up in just the whole dating experience, that you forgot what to look out for and neglected your true needs and desires. What are you really looking for in a lover? What are your needs and desires? What qualities are important for a person to have and what other qualities are you willing to compromise with and accept? Getting back in touch with what you are really looking for will help prevent you from staying in the dating scene forever. It is essential that you observe your actions and decisions, making sure that you do not continue to date certain people in the name of dating. If you find that you are not sharing the connection you crave with a person, then you must discontinue with dating that person. Sure, you will feel bad for hurting that persons feelings, but what you must remember is that there is nothing too personal or emotional between the two of you anyway, so just throw that excuse out- and just break it off, in a polite manner of course! This is where so many get stuck, mistaking casual trial dates, with a personal and emotional relationship. This may sound too business-like for your taste, but this is the way it goes in the real world of dating. If you spend your time trying to spare people hurt or disappointment, then you have been doing it all wrong. This does not mean that you have to be harsh and rude, but it does mean that you have to make finding the right person a first and high priority for, not worrying about what other people with think of you.