While sitting at an outdoor patio with my guy
pal, a good-looking lady sashayed by. She was nicely dressed and even
more nicely put together. My friend remarked with obvious approval,
"There is an excellent example of 'floating cleavage.'" Naturally I
turned to get a gawk.
He was right. Her cleavage was in fact floating. Not jiggling, not bouncing, rather floating. (In case you have never witnessed this, the undersides of the breasts were immobile while the exposed upper skin was "floating" with her gait.) It was hard to deny, her cleavage was nice to look at.
Just in the nick of time my feminist side kicked in and indignantly I spat, "I thought you didn't believe in objectifying women?" A mocking smile curled around his lips and he responded with, "I don't. I simply like to admire the beautiful qualities of women."
Rolling my eyes, just about to blast him sarcastically with, "Yes, yes, I know you admire a beautiful woman with the same wonder you admire a beautiful car. If that isn't objectifying I don't know what is."
When he knocked the feminist-air out of me by stating, "Trina, you need to learn the difference between admiration and leering. I was respectfully admiring that woman. Not leering."
There's a difference? Well who made the rules? Because I still don't know the difference. Even though I have experienced both, I cannot express in words their intangible distinction.
Many a woman has recounted how a man undressed her with his eyes--besides making her feel terribly uncomfortable, it was downright creepy. Equally the same women said while walking past a construction site they secretly enjoyed the cat calls and whistles from leering construction workers--putting a bounce in their step.
What about those men who
unabashedly stare at a woman's breasts? A lot of women do their best to
camouflage their biologically-gotten large breasts, however no matter
what they do, their breasts stick out. When men ogle, it makes these
women feel uncomfortable.
While working at a mall, I remember the maintenance guys on their walkie-talkies, forever on the lookout, "Big set of hooters coming through the East doors." All of the maintenance men would high-tail it to the East door to get a peek. I never knew who to feel more sorry for: the maintenance guys for being so pitiful; or the innocent by-standard big-breasted woman who received the unwanted attention.
Yet a woman who is wearing cleavage revealing clothes pretty much ensnarls the average guy into a no-win Catch-22. She wants him to admire her, still she wants him to respect her. Above all else, she wants him to look at her cleavage appropriately. Huh?
I once saw a lady wearing a skin-tight t-shirt with a deeply scooped neckline, her cleavage hanging out all over the place, and the t-shirt read, "Stop Staring. Grow Your Own." Can you say mischievous, evil mix-message boys and girls?
Now I'm not into gals and still I have talked to my share of women's breasts. I couldn't help it. They were just standing there, at attention, waiting to be looked at. All the while the gal complaining, "Why can't men look into my eyes instead of my breasts?" And I'm thinking, "Because your breasts are like a flashing beacon screaming, 'Look at me, look at me.'" It's not rocket science.
As a result, I empathize with my politically-correct male friends who plead, "I was trying really hard to keep my eyes on her face and some how they slid down to her breasts. I caught myself and snapped my eyes back to her face only for them to slide down once again."
After going through this debate with my floating-cleavage-loving-friend, I tell him I'm really not sure there is a correct answer.
Finally, he calmly imparts his sagely knowledge, "The difference my friend is whether of not the woman desires the attention. If the woman wants the man's attention, she feels admired. If she doesn't want the attention, she considers it leering. It all comes down to her perception of what she feels his intent is."
I opened my mouth to say how typical of a man to throw the blame back on women, just to snap it shut again. He makes an excellent point. Although I don't feel he is 100% accurate, there is much truth to his belief.
I still don't believe guys should be given carte blanche to staring, even when the lady has her cleavage invitingly out. However, women might want to lighten up a bit and save themselves a bunch of unnecessary heartache. Cleavage staring will never go away--it's in a man's DNA. Might as well make peace with it.
He was right. Her cleavage was in fact floating. Not jiggling, not bouncing, rather floating. (In case you have never witnessed this, the undersides of the breasts were immobile while the exposed upper skin was "floating" with her gait.) It was hard to deny, her cleavage was nice to look at.
Just in the nick of time my feminist side kicked in and indignantly I spat, "I thought you didn't believe in objectifying women?" A mocking smile curled around his lips and he responded with, "I don't. I simply like to admire the beautiful qualities of women."
Rolling my eyes, just about to blast him sarcastically with, "Yes, yes, I know you admire a beautiful woman with the same wonder you admire a beautiful car. If that isn't objectifying I don't know what is."
When he knocked the feminist-air out of me by stating, "Trina, you need to learn the difference between admiration and leering. I was respectfully admiring that woman. Not leering."
There's a difference? Well who made the rules? Because I still don't know the difference. Even though I have experienced both, I cannot express in words their intangible distinction.
Many a woman has recounted how a man undressed her with his eyes--besides making her feel terribly uncomfortable, it was downright creepy. Equally the same women said while walking past a construction site they secretly enjoyed the cat calls and whistles from leering construction workers--putting a bounce in their step.
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What about those men who
unabashedly stare at a woman's breasts? A lot of women do their best to
camouflage their biologically-gotten large breasts, however no matter
what they do, their breasts stick out. When men ogle, it makes these
women feel uncomfortable. While working at a mall, I remember the maintenance guys on their walkie-talkies, forever on the lookout, "Big set of hooters coming through the East doors." All of the maintenance men would high-tail it to the East door to get a peek. I never knew who to feel more sorry for: the maintenance guys for being so pitiful; or the innocent by-standard big-breasted woman who received the unwanted attention.
Yet a woman who is wearing cleavage revealing clothes pretty much ensnarls the average guy into a no-win Catch-22. She wants him to admire her, still she wants him to respect her. Above all else, she wants him to look at her cleavage appropriately. Huh?
I once saw a lady wearing a skin-tight t-shirt with a deeply scooped neckline, her cleavage hanging out all over the place, and the t-shirt read, "Stop Staring. Grow Your Own." Can you say mischievous, evil mix-message boys and girls?
Now I'm not into gals and still I have talked to my share of women's breasts. I couldn't help it. They were just standing there, at attention, waiting to be looked at. All the while the gal complaining, "Why can't men look into my eyes instead of my breasts?" And I'm thinking, "Because your breasts are like a flashing beacon screaming, 'Look at me, look at me.'" It's not rocket science.
As a result, I empathize with my politically-correct male friends who plead, "I was trying really hard to keep my eyes on her face and some how they slid down to her breasts. I caught myself and snapped my eyes back to her face only for them to slide down once again."
After going through this debate with my floating-cleavage-loving-friend, I tell him I'm really not sure there is a correct answer.
Finally, he calmly imparts his sagely knowledge, "The difference my friend is whether of not the woman desires the attention. If the woman wants the man's attention, she feels admired. If she doesn't want the attention, she considers it leering. It all comes down to her perception of what she feels his intent is."
I opened my mouth to say how typical of a man to throw the blame back on women, just to snap it shut again. He makes an excellent point. Although I don't feel he is 100% accurate, there is much truth to his belief.
I still don't believe guys should be given carte blanche to staring, even when the lady has her cleavage invitingly out. However, women might want to lighten up a bit and save themselves a bunch of unnecessary heartache. Cleavage staring will never go away--it's in a man's DNA. Might as well make peace with it.
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