Are you being pressured into getting married,
and are you worried that you are not ready? This is a common problem.
Pressure to get married can come from many places. Your parents may
pressure you because they want to see grandchildren, or they want you to
be happy. Your significant other may be pressuring you because they are
in love and want to spend the rest of their life with you. Social or
cultural pressures exist as well. If all of your friends are married,
you may feel the pressure to join the ranks of the married crowd. If
your culture, religion, or family tends to be married by a certain age
or stage of life, you may feel pressured.
It is important that no matter what the
reason, or where the pressure is coming from that you evaluate if you
are ready for marriage. It is a big step to take, and the divorce rate
is high because people do not always take it as seriously, or give it
the importance it deserves. If you are not sure if you are ready to get
married, ask yourself the following questions:
1. Are you mentally and emotionally mature enough for marriage? In other words, do not marry unless you intend to make it permanent. When people who are not mentally or emotionally mature enough for marriage get married, and an obstacle arises, they do the things kids tend to do, run from, ignore, or deny problems. The mature thing to do is to work through it. So, both parties have to agree to make the marriage work despite the obstacles, and regardless of what they might be. If you are not mentally and emotionally ready for that commitment, and the lack of selfishness this requires, ignore the pressure, and don't get married yet.
2. Can you learn to be unselfish? Selfishness is the main cause of marriage failure. It rears its head in many different forms, but it is still the same thing. If you can't see beyond your self, your actions, and your feelings to how you affect others, and what they need, you are not ready. Selfishness is normal, but not healthy for marriage, so learn to be unselfish, or at least by on that track, before you get married.
3. Is your relationship your highest priority? You know when it isn't. You just have to be honest with yourself. If there is a big game on television, and your significant other needs you for something, which one wins out? When your significant other requires something that interferes with your plans, your likes, dislikes etc. which one do you choose? If your relationship, and each other are not the priority over work, school, friends, entertainment, etc. then you may not be ready for marriage yet.
It is easy to give into the pressures to get married, especially if you believe some of them. For example, you may believe that people in their thirties, forties, etc. should be settled down, and getting married. However, marriage is an individual thing, and if you are not ready it is a mistake to get married, despite the pressures.
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1. Are you mentally and emotionally mature enough for marriage? In other words, do not marry unless you intend to make it permanent. When people who are not mentally or emotionally mature enough for marriage get married, and an obstacle arises, they do the things kids tend to do, run from, ignore, or deny problems. The mature thing to do is to work through it. So, both parties have to agree to make the marriage work despite the obstacles, and regardless of what they might be. If you are not mentally and emotionally ready for that commitment, and the lack of selfishness this requires, ignore the pressure, and don't get married yet.
2. Can you learn to be unselfish? Selfishness is the main cause of marriage failure. It rears its head in many different forms, but it is still the same thing. If you can't see beyond your self, your actions, and your feelings to how you affect others, and what they need, you are not ready. Selfishness is normal, but not healthy for marriage, so learn to be unselfish, or at least by on that track, before you get married.
3. Is your relationship your highest priority? You know when it isn't. You just have to be honest with yourself. If there is a big game on television, and your significant other needs you for something, which one wins out? When your significant other requires something that interferes with your plans, your likes, dislikes etc. which one do you choose? If your relationship, and each other are not the priority over work, school, friends, entertainment, etc. then you may not be ready for marriage yet.
It is easy to give into the pressures to get married, especially if you believe some of them. For example, you may believe that people in their thirties, forties, etc. should be settled down, and getting married. However, marriage is an individual thing, and if you are not ready it is a mistake to get married, despite the pressures.
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