It can be difficult to know if your man is no
good, or if you are just being paranoid about things, but the following
are ten signs that your man is no good:
1. If he puts you down. One of the biggest signs of abuse is when a partner belittles or puts down the other person, especially if they do it in public. It is a form of control, where they make you feel so bad about yourself that you put up with things that a person with healthy self esteem would not.
2. If he physically harms you or
threatens to. If your man ever lays a hand on you, no matter what his
excuse is, if he physically harms you, kick him out the door. Many women
put up with a man who threatens to harm them, because he never does.
However, people often escalate in bad behavior, and you do not want to
put yourself at risk.
3. If he tries to get between you and family and friends. Isolation is very common in abusive relationships, and frequently the abuse does not start until you are completely isolated. So, in order to do that he may talk bad about your friends, or make you feel upset with your family, until you no longer have strong ties with them. This makes you an easier target for manipulation, abuse, etc.
4. If he lies. If he lied about one thing, what else is he lying to you about? It is not a paranoid thing to end things with a guy because he lied. Trust is a critical part of your relationship with anyone. If he lies, he is no good because one lie excused turns into permission to lie.
5. If he cheats. Men make up all kinds of excuses for cheating, from it is in their biology to you not giving them the kind of attention they need. Either way, cheating is a selfish act that puts what they want above the relationship, and in front of the affects it has on you. Do not put up with it. It means he is no good. If he cheated on his past relationships, he will probably cheat on you.
6. If he doesn't listen when you say "no". It doesn't matter what you are saying no about, if he tries to laugh it off, or ignores it, or forces you to do something you don't want to, especially if it is sexual, then he is no good.
7. If he continually puts his desires above yours. A good man is going to be considerate, because relationships do not work if one person in them is completely selfish. If he never asks what you want, or takes your feelings into consideration, then he is no good.
8. If he is secretive. Secrets are no fun, they do hurt someone, and it is usually you. There is a difference between someone being secretive in order to surprise you, and being secretive in general about their life. If he won't open up and share, then move on.
9. If he is controlling. A strong personality is different from controlling. Relationships work best when each people have equal parts. If he tries to control you, or manipulate you so that you will do his bidding, then he is no good.
10. If he is constantly mood swinging. If he loves you so much one second, and then flies into a rage at you for something silly like spilling coffee, or being late, then he may be sociopathic, unbalanced, or manipulative, he is no good.
Even if your man only fits a few of these, then chances are he is no good. There are plenty of men out there that aren't abusive, that aren't neglectful, and that care, so believe that you deserve one of them, and go find one.
1. If he puts you down. One of the biggest signs of abuse is when a partner belittles or puts down the other person, especially if they do it in public. It is a form of control, where they make you feel so bad about yourself that you put up with things that a person with healthy self esteem would not.
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3. If he tries to get between you and family and friends. Isolation is very common in abusive relationships, and frequently the abuse does not start until you are completely isolated. So, in order to do that he may talk bad about your friends, or make you feel upset with your family, until you no longer have strong ties with them. This makes you an easier target for manipulation, abuse, etc.
4. If he lies. If he lied about one thing, what else is he lying to you about? It is not a paranoid thing to end things with a guy because he lied. Trust is a critical part of your relationship with anyone. If he lies, he is no good because one lie excused turns into permission to lie.
5. If he cheats. Men make up all kinds of excuses for cheating, from it is in their biology to you not giving them the kind of attention they need. Either way, cheating is a selfish act that puts what they want above the relationship, and in front of the affects it has on you. Do not put up with it. It means he is no good. If he cheated on his past relationships, he will probably cheat on you.
6. If he doesn't listen when you say "no". It doesn't matter what you are saying no about, if he tries to laugh it off, or ignores it, or forces you to do something you don't want to, especially if it is sexual, then he is no good.
7. If he continually puts his desires above yours. A good man is going to be considerate, because relationships do not work if one person in them is completely selfish. If he never asks what you want, or takes your feelings into consideration, then he is no good.
8. If he is secretive. Secrets are no fun, they do hurt someone, and it is usually you. There is a difference between someone being secretive in order to surprise you, and being secretive in general about their life. If he won't open up and share, then move on.
9. If he is controlling. A strong personality is different from controlling. Relationships work best when each people have equal parts. If he tries to control you, or manipulate you so that you will do his bidding, then he is no good.
10. If he is constantly mood swinging. If he loves you so much one second, and then flies into a rage at you for something silly like spilling coffee, or being late, then he may be sociopathic, unbalanced, or manipulative, he is no good.
Even if your man only fits a few of these, then chances are he is no good. There are plenty of men out there that aren't abusive, that aren't neglectful, and that care, so believe that you deserve one of them, and go find one.
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