Like everything else you wish to succeed in, relationships
require effort and investments. How is the health status of your
relationship account? When you start an account, you always start off
with such enthusiasm and with goals to grow this account into a healthy,
strong one that will give you a happy future. The thing is, most people
open their relationship account with eagerness like this, only to get
lazy and procrastinate over time, leading the relationship onto an
unhealthy path. Laziness will always set you up for failure, including
your relationship. As a relationship
matures and get older, the lazier a couple tends to get. You get so
comfortable with each other, that you no longer bother to invest the
time and efforts you did at the beginning. People often believe that if
they are comfortable in their relationship, then everything is okay
and/or will work itself out. Being comfortable, however, does not always
mean your relationship is healthy. Being comfortable could simply mean
that you and your partner are used to being together, as well as used to
the way the relationship is- even if a relationship is lacking
important things that could make it better. This happens so gradually
sometimes, that a couple often does not know where things went wrong-
and all they know is that their relationship went downhill and things do
not feel the same anymore. The excitement is gone, the passion has
faded and the communication has gone from strong to weak, making it
difficult for a couple to work together once they do realize that their
relationship is in trouble.
The following are some things you and your partner need to constantly
invest to your relationship account if you want to maintain a healthy
and loving relationship:
- Honesty. You have probably heard the famous
saying- �honesty is the best policy�. Well, it really is! While the
truth may not always be pleasant, it is always better to let your
partner know what you are thinking and how you are feeling, rather than
keeping it all inside of you and expecting your partner to read your
mind. You also need to open and accepting of the truth your partner
shares with you about yourself and the relationship over all. If you are
not willing to hear the truth (and the truth can be painful sometimes),
then you are not willing to fully experience the relationship as a
whole- but instead choose to blind yourself from certain things because
it makes life easier for you (or at least it will look that way to you).
So invest honesty into your relationship every day throughout the whole
year- being always honest with your partner and yourself.
- Respect. You and your partner can have extremely
strong feelings for each other and may claim to love each other dearly
and more than anything. Without respect however, that love will get lost
in the big shadow of disrespect that will take over your relationship.
Respect may seems like something that is only natural for you and your
partner to have for each other and that if you love each other, then it
will be very difficult to disrespect each other. This may be true in the
beginning when things are new between you, but in time things change
and requires maintenance. As a relationship matures and you and your
partner spend more time together, you will experience different things
and will learn new things about each other.
Though
the love you have for each other may be something you have in common,
you two are still individual human beings with different habits, views,
routines, interests and so on. You may not always like or agree with the
way your partner handles things, believes things and says things- but
you will have to accept and respect that this is who he/she is. If you
cannot respect your partner and your partner does not respect you, then
your relationship will not last- and if it does, it will grow into an
unhappy relationship that will invite many other stressful and painful
issues. Invest respect daily into your relationship and do not allow
yourself to cross that line and enter the territory of disrespect. If
you so, you and your partner will not see each other the same way.
- Expressions of Love. You may see this one as a
given, but it is not. People tend to get a little too comfortable as
time goes by in a relationship and become less concerned with expressing
their love and admiration for their partner. This, majority of the
time, is not intentional, but it does happen regardless of being
intentional or not. People do this because they become too confident.
They know they love their partner and that their partner loves them and
use that as their security. While knowing that you love each other is
great and powerful, it will not be enough to make your relationship last
in a happy way. People need to know that they are loved and cherished
and that they are not being taken for granted. Laziness is a person�s
worst enemy and it will cost you your relationship if you do not take
the time to let your partner know that he/she is special and the love of
your life. Tell your partner how much he/she means to you, write
something thoughtful in card and give it to him/her, set a date to take
him/her out someplace you know you two will truly enjoy and feel like a
successful romantic couple. It does not require anything fancy to
express your love to your partner and keep him/her satisfied, but the
rewards for doing so will be wonderful and extremely beneficial to your
relationship. Also remember, if your partner is not investing his/her
share of efforts in showing you how much you mean to him/her, then you
need to observe your relationship closely and give it a check up to see
how healthy or unhealthy it really is. Talk to your partner about how
you feel and give him/her time to make positive changes and improvements
that will please you. If they lack to do so even after your honest
communication, then you will need to ask yourself if you think you are
with the right person. After all, you deserve to be with someone who
will truly care about how you feel and will never want to disappoint or
hurt you if they know they hold the power to make things different.
- Freedom. Give your partner freedom? Yes! Not the
kind of freedom where you both are allowed to just go off and behave
recklessly to towards the relationship, but freedom in a way that lets
both you and your partner continue to be individuals. As a couple in a
relationship you will be one, but outside that circle, you two will
still be individuals who will need and want to continue to discover more
about yourselves as people. You both will grow in time and you will get
different callings in life, but in order for you to hear these callings
and act on them, you and your partner need to give each other the
freedom to do so. Do not cling to each other so tight that you cannot
separate and be individuals and do not control your partner or allow
your partner to control you. Controlling or being controlled is not love
or an expression of how much your partner loves you. Control is selfish
and is robbing a person from having a relationship with them selves.
Invest freedom in your relationship and you and your partner will grow
even closer together! You will have more to share with each other too.
Invest all of these into your relationship account and watch the
interest grow. You and your partner will be happy and will earn the
feeling of taking pride in your successful relationship. |
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